Today, we left the house an hour and a half later than the usual! The sun is already up, beaming and grinning at us (yes, he looked playful today and happy to be shining because he wasn’t able to do so these past few days). And Amber was already at the garage with Tita Renee having their alphabet lessons.
We kissed Amber goodbye then headed outside the gate where the car is (yes, the car... it’s actually a truck! May truck bed eh... all right, vehicle na nga lang... is parked outside the garage because it’s too long to fit inside. Kaya war sila ng garahe, di sila bati!).
That moment, I realized how heartbreaking it is to leave knowing that your child is doing the best within her capacity to stop you from leaving. She didn’t whine. She didn’t run after us in panic. She just calmly reached for my hand and held it firmly. Then she started babbling casually as if she’s telling me a story. Though it’s obvious that she doesn’t want me (us) to go.
I thought this would no longer affect me because this is not the first time that we left her awake. Though most of the time, she’s still asleep. And if she’s awake, she usually doesn’t mind us or she is distracted by other things. Today was different.
I had to ask Tita Renee to walk with her up to the end of the block so we can discreetly leave. She was ok with it naman and held Tita’s hand but she keeps on looking back to check on us. Haay! The look on her face made my heart break even more! We left as soon as we were out of their sight.
I’m sure she will be fine. I’m certain she will no longer remember nor look for us when she gets back. Or maybe she will just utter a simple “na na (wala na), no more” and she will just continue playing with her toys. I hope she would forget about this incident in an instant. L
I think it’s me who really can’t get over what has just happened. I still feel broken at the thought of her face as they walk away.
Haaay, sunshine! Lighten up my mood please.
Well, that makes me look forward to going home the more! Can I just wish for the office hours to be over now? ... genie?
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